Back in EPS 100 a the U of R when they told us young naive souls that wanted to become educators that teaching is a 24/7 type of profession, I thought they just meant everywhere you go people will see you as being a teacher, and you should act in a professional manner.
I did not know that as a teacher, and I feel I can speak for most new teachers, that you will be consumed by this profession. I’m not complaining about the amount of work that I am putting in. I’m talking about spending 95% of my day just thinking about teaching. And not cool things like how inspirational and motivating I am (probably not, but I like to think so), but thinking about what I have planned, what I have to plan, what I have to mark, assignments I have to make, etc, etc, etc.
This isn’t necessarily bad, my qualm with it is that this is all I can think about. I just want to shut my brain off. I am so exhausted by the end of the day that I just crash on the couch. I have sat down and stared at the wall, in silence, for no reason. I have a hockey game tonight and I will bet money that during the game I will think about school.
I guess what I would like to know, is does this get better? Or will I just get used to being a zombie most days? My first instinct tel me hat this will get better. But its midway through December and the end doesn’t seem in sight.
I know it sounds like I have a terrible attitude towards my job. I love my job, I really do. Maybe all this thought I put into it is a sign that I care about what I do, and want to get better. But I don’t know, I’m tired and cranky right now. Ask me again later.
I promise it does get better – you will learn to find the balance of teaching and a personal life and some days you will do better than others at keeping school at school. The fact that you are thinking about it all of the time simply demonstrates that you are dedicated to the profession and extremely well-organized! Also, don’t forget that no matter how much experience we have or how awesome our students are this semester…it’s one week from Christmas break and we can all get a little cranky.
Enjoy your holidays and the beginnings of the best career out there!
It gets much better. That which is so time consuming now becomes reflexive later on. Build good thought habits. You’ll need it to build better skills then even better skills. I’ve been at it for 30 + years and getting better has been an all consuming passion. You will miss out on a few things ( weekends) and give up a few things ( late nights )and in return you receive the lifelong joy of being a leader of learners. That staring at the wall thing? Call it reflection and folks will admire you for it. Hang tough brother.
It will get better. I have to admit that while reading your post I had an emotional reaction which may be due to the fact that I’m tired and cranky but more likely it’s because I feel proud of what you are aiming to do. You are consumed by the importance of the llives you are changing and you take it seriously as you should. Teaching is not for the faint of heart. It’s not for everyone and most people outside of the field can’t imagine why we put so many hours into it. We do it because it’s worth it. Balance will come. Don’t give up. Rest over the break. Be good to yourself.
I found a link to your blog on twitter and felt inspired to respond. If you are interested, it is posted at http://educationalexperimentalist.com/wp/?p=1258. The cliff notes version… YES it does get better
Let yourself get distracted. Really distracted. For me it’s golf. The 4 hours I can spend on a golf course gets my mind away from things. I know you play hockey, so keep playing. Play more. Video games, etc. The advice you have above is sound. I think the more teachers find outside interests, the better they are at their job. Find another passion. I know that’s easy to say but hard to do with the work load you currently have. But make an effort to distract yourself. It will make a better teacher and a better person.
Jordon,
Thanks for for your honesty! Things do get better! In fact they. Get beautiful. This all encompassing feeling sort of shifts with time, and it most likely will for you. Why? Because you care so much about this feeling now.
I agee with so much of what has been shared. Dean makes a good point. Take time for what you love and are passionate about, other than teaching. For me it’s trekking. Every Saturday I’m off hiking, snooping and caching. This is family time, outside time, me time.
But these times also make connecting with my kids easier. Each one of the wonderful people I hang with everyday arrives with a story and a passion of his or her own. Sharing our stories calms every space, always.
Somewhere during EPS 290 I first learned there is no real separation. My l am a student always, and what I’m thinking about is what I’m most passionate about. And sometimes my passion makes me tired and grumpy. The same is true for everyone, at some point.
But here is the magic: when I’m swirling with emotion, feeling pushed, I understand I’m learning. I understand I’m where I’m supposed to be. I understand this joy. Beautiful joy.